Odd bits: Language plays

This sidebar sounds a bit like those sheets posted on the bulletin board at the British Council in Slovenia, featuring examples of all the amusing ways in which those wacky foreigners mangle our tongue. But at least it isn't second-hand Web filler: all of the following bits o'accidental English have been personally witnessed and scribbled down by me in my travels in Hungary and Romania. Accuracy is guaranteed. That's something, at least, isn't it...

Sign in a Budapest restaurant (see photo):

PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOUR VALUES
IN CASE OF LOOSING IT WE CAN'T
ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY

*****

Written on a sandwich board outside a door leading to a cellar in central Budapest:

Club Verne
Live Music@
Restaurant Music Club

Every night you can meet the imaginations of the last century and in the romantic, middle-class atmosphere hungry heroes taste the inventions of a Marvellous french-like kitchens.

*****

Humor in packaging, seen on sale in a shop at the Arad (Romania) train station: Stalinskaya strong vodka ("Original Russian Technology," according to the label).

*****

Best of all, from an actual label attached to a sweater of Chinese manufacture, on sale in a Timisoara boutique (October 1998):

MEILIYA sweater see about good. Elaborate cropping, claintily techniques. golden swatches, individuation's deviser, the incarnatest individual blue- chip timperament ank unimal magnetism. MEILIYA have you more qulchritade elegance

DOMESTIC FACTOR
No:
Add:
Tel:
For forfend impostor and your authority benefits, pleaces identify MEILIYA sweater quality warranty sura, copyrighthavings, image needs inguive into.

GELIFAN
Meiliya Knitwear fashion co., Ltd.
HONOUT QUALITY

WASHING-UP PATTERN STORING
Hand Wash/Dry Cleas Only/Do not Tumble Dry/Do Not Wing/Gang Dry